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3 min readThe Marketing Scenario if We Happen To Move to Mars- Part 2

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Mars Marketing

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In this segment of Marketing at Mars, there are a few more companies that we can think of who would really benefit with their marketing if we happen to move to mars.

Talk, Talk, Talk-

After the Infrastructure, the next important thing would be to establish a communication channel for the humans who live there. The planet being so vast, it would be really important that we humans keep in constant touch with each other and share our experiences on a day to day basis. But who would be the communication regulatory body there? Probably, India would go ahead and establish a local office of BSNL, where we are sure their network would be down half the time as their fibers coming from Earth must be cut due to some Municipal construction work going on. Yet, they would be brave enough to market themselves probably with a Tagline “Connecting Indians – On Mars in just Rs 99/- Martian month”.

‘Jio’ Mere ‘Laal’-

Now Reliance Industries with all their wealth and might would want this regulatory body to allow Jio to establish their towers everywhere where Jio would now have Elon Musk as their brand ambassador (As they can afford him), standing with the brand’s commanding lady with the messaging going as “Mangal ho ya Dharti, Jio ko Jiyo Jee Bharke”

We Humans!

Humans have always been very territorial about everything. We have new borders and walls being built on a daily basis so that we can claim our territory and secure it. By the time humans happen to reach Mars, we are sure ISRO would have set hundreds of new world records launching probes into outer limits of the space to only study and the exo-planets but not land on any of them – as we are scared that they would never set foot on the ground. Never the less our very friendly neighbours would still try to uplift their technology – Yes, we now what you are thinking about, it’s nuclear weaponry. They would focus on testing their nukes over the Indian establishment on Mars. The media and news houses at their end would come up with a news like:

“Bharat ne phir se racha shariyantra!!

Mangal par bhi jamane ki koshish ki hukumat!!

Surgical strike ka piatra apnaya!!

Kya UN karega madad!!

Kya roka jayega bharat ke is zalzale ko??”

PM Modi Says:

To which we would have only one response being showcased on Aaj Tak – “Mitron, hum mangal pe kushal mangal se rehna chahte hain. Magar koi humare mangalmaye aur shantipriya vyavhar mein badha daalne ki koshish karega toh hum use karara jawab denge.” (We can bet on it that mitron is going to be a universally accepted word by then.)

Now, in all this commotion we suddenly realise that “States” run surveillance drones are flying around the red planet just to see if there are any suspicious activities being carried out and as usual the drone’s Go Pro captures a man with a “camel”- ya right, a Camel. Once conclusion that we can draw out of it is somebody is carrying out an expedition for Oil on Mars. Well, someone needs to call dips when it comes down to the prices of the crudes at any new establishment.

There is a lot that goes when it comes to establishing a new colony all together and whenever and wherever there is something new – it gives rise to start-ups. That is where we pick up in our next article. Stay Tuned…

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